Ghosting, the contemporary way of ending things through radio silence, is rampant among gen-Z and millennial dating culture.
Although ghosting might appear to be the most convenient solution, the aftermath is often a mess of guilt for the ghoster and heartbreak for the ghosted. In a society characterized by rapid and depersonalized communication through dating apps and social media, there must be a polite way to ghost someone—if not, I’m screwed.
Let’s define ghosting as completely abandoning communication with a potential romantic partner after you’ve met in-person. Avoiding messages from the creepy 28-year-old you accidentally swiped right on isn’t ghosting—it’s blissful and necessary ignorance.
As someone who’s been both a ghoster and a ghostee, I’m on a mission to find a solution that spares young hearts from the devastation of a text left on read. In 2023, instant communication is at our fingertips, and abrupt silence leaves the recipient grappling with unanswered questions and a sense of rejection.
The emotional toll on both parties is undeniable, with the ghoster’s remorse, and the confusing aftermath left for the ghostee to navigate.
Rather than opting for the easy way out, we should strive for relationships built on open dialogue, recognizing that our actions impact the emotional well-being of those around us. Communication is the bedrock of understanding, and even if the best decision is to part ways, there are ways to do so honestly and respectfully to soften the emotional blow.
Letting someone down gently is easier said than done, so here are tips and tricks for a politer alternative to ghosting.
It’s always best to rip the band-aid off sooner rather than later, as it demonstrates respect for the other person’s time and emotions. Avoid procrastinating that text; breaking things off early allows everyone to move on quicker.
If your situation doesn’t warrant brutal honesty, you can ease into the “ghosting” with a gradual slowdown. Let distance happen naturally, giving both of you time to get used to less communication and hope the other person takes the hint.
Offering a gentle, considerate excuse can provide an easy exit without delving into uncomfortable details. This approach allows the other person to maintain dignity, while giving them an opportunity to read between the lines.
If you absolutely need to send a text indicating you’re no longer interested, be sure to choose your words kindly. Your tone matters. Opt for words that convey your feelings respectfully and soften the emotional punch.
Sometimes, the most straightforward approach is the best one. Honesty, conveyed with empathy, can foster understanding and closure. Clearly expressing your feelings and reasons for wanting to break it off might pave the way for a more amicable parting.
If ghosting feels like your only choice, consider the impact of your actions on your immediate social circles and communities. Ghosting in a small community can lead to awkward run-ins and strained relationships. Being mindful of your environment maintains a sense of civility and respect.
In the end, ghosting may seem like the easy way out, but it’s worth reconsidering the impact it has on both sides of the equation. Next time you find yourself trying to ghost someone, show a little empathy and our actions exist beyond the confines of our screens. After all, you may soon find yourself on the opposite side.
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