Of all the decades of the last century, the ’90s were probably what that gave pop culture the most inconsequential fad memories.
Looking back to my elementary school days, the thing that seems to pop out most in my memories is something I like to refer to as the Pet Revolution.
Tamagotchis? The beeping, the calling, and perpetual piles of excrement in the bottom corner of the screen will probably haunt us for the rest of our lives.
I my school getting so fed up with these things that they literally sent a notice home to all the kids’ parents banning virtual pets. Think about what else was banned in elementary school: the Power Rangers. I mean, to be put in the same category as something that made kids dress up in tight neon leotards, scream bizarre phrases like “It’s morphing time!” and beat up other kids probably meant it was a pretty serious thing.
Sadly enough, Tamagotchis weren’t even the end of virtual pets. Apparently, we loved dishing out our money for nuisances so much that following this trend we produced copycats like Giga pets, Nano pets, Dinky Dinos and Furbies. Though I hope this won’t say much about my real parenting skills, mine wouldn’t fall asleep—so I whipped it against the wall.
I guess something about the shoot-me-in-the-head-now beeping didn’t appeal to boys, because the Pet Revolution was primarily a trend among girls. That’s not to say there wasn’t a male counterpart to the embarrassing fads of the ’90s though—a yin to the yang, if you will. I like to call it the Games Revolution.
The Games Revolution was the popularization of games that required the collection of multiple pieces to play a complete game. For example, Pokemon involved trapping and collecting little animals called “pocket monsters,” which the player would later force to engage in vicious battle with his opponents for glory and entertainment.
Another example is Pogs, a Hawaiian bottle cap-inspired game where collecting “authentics” became the mark of high-class Pog playing. The number of Pogs you had exalted you as hardcore, and the heavier and more elaborate your “slammer” was—well, the more of a cheat you were.
These “revolutions” were primarily a preoccupation of younger children, you might argue. The older you get, the wiser you get, right? Wrong.
Let us the Macarena, a more universal but equally disconcerting fad of the ’90s.
Few of us actually realized the lyrics weren’t actually “Nananana Macarena. Nananana Macarena. Nanananannana Macarena. Hey! Macarena!” Moreover, few of us actually realized how inappropriate the lyrics may have been for middle-schoolers. Witness the following translation:
“Give your body pleasure, Macarena
Because your body is for giving it pleasure and good things
Ehhh, Macarena
Macarena has a boyfriend whose name is
Whose last name is Vitorino
And during his military swearing in
She got together with two of his friends
Macarena, Macarena, Macarena … ”
Macarena is a girl?! And all this time we were fooled to believe that “Macarena” was Spanish for something that was high in carbs and good with cheese!
La Macarena is actually the name for the Virgin Mary in the Spanish city of Seville, which got its name originally from the connection a district of the city had with the third century Sevillian martyr, San Macario. Eeek … and all that booty-shaking you were doing to the song was anything but holy.
Now, I’m not saying I wasn’t right in there, lined up, flipping my hands and shaking what my mama gave me in an electric fervor along with everyone else. It’s just that, well, in retrospect, I’d like to believe I never was.
But I guess in any context, the norm will always be the most powerful driving force of society. Pogs—circles of cardboard—could make millions of dollars. Lyrics about a girl who’d like to “trap a new boyfriend” could make the top ten list.
So, what should we do? The only thing we can do: embrace the fact that we think is cool one decade always has the potential to be utterly uncool the next. And the next time your mom asks you “If Janie jumped off a cliff, would you?” Give her the honest answer: “Yes, Mom. Yes, I would.”
Even though Tamagotchis were awful and “Macarena” was dirty, Postscript still looks back to the ’90s with fond memories. So fond that we still dance to Macarena once in awhile … in the privacy of our own home, of course.
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